I got asked a question. It tested my faith.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been asked this question, but it happened three times this week: “What are you majoring in?” Then after came the usual: “What do you want to do with it?”
I always answer with this: I don’t know.
I don’t make plans about my future, I worry about the near future maybe like planning for retreat this weekend, or finishing that essay, but I don’t really worry about my future in, say, my career. I’ve tried to explain why to people, but they look at me like I’m crazy.
I’ve learned to let go of letting my major define who I am, and I’m not about to let my job do that too. I’ve learned in my short stint with college so far that any expectations I had about college were so childish and minimal compared to what I have experienced and if I had held onto those expectations, let those desires drive me, I would probably not have experienced or even come close to doing the things that I was really planned for.
God has much greater plans for me and it’s all in his timing. I’ve never really desired to be rich, and now even more I’ve lost the desire to have a decent job, family, a big house, and the typical dream home. It’s too stock. Monotone. One size fits all. God has a unique, individual plan for my life and I choose to partake in it as an act of faith.
“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?… But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” - Matthew 6:30, 6:33
Please, test your faith by acting in faith, and if you don’t have that faith PRAISE GOD for that realization so that you may act accordingly to grow that faith. Ask and you shall receive.
One last note. You know that Jesus actually marveled at someone on earth before? Yes marveled. To be amazed, wowed, in awe of someone and it came down to this situation: In Matthew 8 a centurion acted in faith saying Jesus didn’t need to come to his house because he so wholly believed in the power of Jesus to heal his servant with a single word. He could have had insurance by bringing Jesus to his home when Jesus offered, and have him killed if nothing happened, but with no immediate confirmation available by the uttering of a word from Jesus, the centurion still asked only for that and nothing else. After Jesus offered he said:
“But the centurion replied, ‘Lord I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” - Matthew 8:8-9
He clearly understood the power and position that Jesus was in. that He was under authority of God and he had authority over all of us who are under Him, and with that clear understanding and faith in Jesus this happens:
“When Jesus heard this, he marveled…” - Matthew 8:10
I wish Jesus would marvel at me, but the question is at what? What can I replicate in this story so that I can illicit that same emotion from Christ. The answer is in verse 13:
“And to the centurion Jesus said, ‘Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.’ And the servant was healed at that very moment.”
It’s a true testament to having faith that drew out the healing power of God and Jesus’ amazement. That’s what faith can do, and honestly I can say that I don’t have that faith. I might not even have faith as small as a mustard seed, but I plan on getting there, Jesus providing the way.
